If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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