they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
