I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dick has a subreddit
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
