Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
