don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
