Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
