I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize