This girl is more easily done than said...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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