can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
ttyl tear gas
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
