Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
