I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
