The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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