meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize