I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize