I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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