Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
