she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize