Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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