Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You are the jesus of drinking
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
