I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
