Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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