Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
