I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
