I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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