We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize