I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
