My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
