it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
