even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
