did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize