ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
