He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
