I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
