I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
