You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
