$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
