She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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