my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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