thus making me awesome and them whores
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
