no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
