Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
