Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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