i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
