You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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