Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
