ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if only i could text you this smell
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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