So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
