what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
