woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
