I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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