I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
