I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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