I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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