Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
