Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
