Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
