I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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