So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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