This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
