Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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